I need to be clear that "Hikari (Instrumental)" is really the song that made it into the #2 spot. Originally, we were judging these as two completely different songs, but they both did extremely well. When we got down to the final 31 Tracks, both made the cut. I decided it would be awkward and wasteful to write up two different versions of "Hikari" on two different days. Judges unanimously decided that "(Instrumental)" was the better version of the song and so I cut "Hikari" from the running and decided they'd both be posted together where ever "Hikari (Instrumental)" landed in the running. Surprise! It landed at #2! Quite frankly, it tied with #1 but in a last minute tie-breaker it slipped into second place.
One of my earliest articles was about how the music of Kingdom Hearts affects me. (Read it!) It's great music and its important to me, so obviously I'm slightly biased on rating up "Hikari" but I do think it's an amazing song. What I like about the instrumental version in particular is how much it blends this Japanese pop song into a real "Disney" wrapper. It sounds like some grand Disney fantasy story and yet still conveys all the power and passion Utada put into "Hikari" itself. I'd tell you all the things that pass through me when I listen to either of these songs, but it would take a lot more space and time. I implore you to read that ancient article if you want to know what the music and the series means to me.
Read: A Music Chain of Memories
- TOP
@TOPGamingBlog
The Kingdom Hearts series was (briefly) my favorite franchise during the Playstation 2 era. The first game was so enchanting. Although I was skeptical of the involvement of Disney, the game was pulled off flawlessly and I was instantly in love. This was my first action RPG and it took a while for me to get used to the learning curve, but for my money, it was one of the best games I played during my teenage years. The ending was so tragic, I couldn't help but tear up as our hero (who had just saved the day) was ripped away from his two best friends. But during the credits, the instrumental version of "Hikari" played, and I knew that Sora's journey wouldn't end here.
"Hikari" is one of those great songs that, like many on this list, perfectly portrays the characters that it represents. Sora, for no apparent reason, is never afraid and approaches each situation thrown at him with unbridled enthusiasm. Throughout the song, I imagine him teaming up with various allies against strange and unknwon monsters. He uses his negative emotions for a positive gain, and he'll do it with the help of his friends. My favorite part of the track comes from around the 2:40 mark, and it gives me goosebumps every time. This is one of those songs that just makes you feel good, despite its sadder, quieter moments. I don't know what life has in store for me, but this will always be a good pick-me-up. It's also the leading candidate for the song I want played at my funeral.
It's no surprise on this blog that we're all fans of the Kingdom Hearts series. I've written a few articles about the games and the music already, primarily about what the first game in the series means to me and what an emotional experience it is - I have Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMIXon pre-order already! What's odd about this song is that it comes from a version of Kingdom Hearts II that was only released in Japan. The only access we had to the scene using this music was on YouTube and it wasn't something we got to experience firsthand. Even so, it's a really amazing song because it captures some of what makes the Kingdom Hearts series shine.
"Fate of the Unkown" alludes to the direction the Kingdom Hearts series would take. It introduces us to unnamed (Unknown) characters, Terra, Aqua and Ventus which is really where Sora, Riku and Kairi's story began unbeknownst to them. I can't say I really like this direction, but I'll reserve judgment on the whole thing until Kingdom Hearts III is released (if ever) to conclude the entire saga. This song really blends a lot of musical themes Shimomura has built within the games into a really heart pumping action orchestra. I really like her use of orchestral music because it adds to the grand Disney majesty of the story being told.
- TOP
@TOPGamingBlog
I was beyond satisfied the first time I finished Kingdom Hearts II. Despite some oddities at the end of the story (Riku's blindfold, Ansem the Wise and all his data, everyone having a Keyblade), I was happy to have reunited everyone for a happy ending. My mind was in conflict, however. I was certain that Sora's story had come to a close and all the loose-knots were tied up, yet I couldn't shake the feeling that Square Enix wouldn't miss the chance to milk that cash cow. Sure enough, we see Sora and his friends on Destiny Islands reading a letter from King Mickey. (Riku looks especially pleased; he's always trying to get away from home.) Even further, we see three mysterious warriors and hundreds of keyblades in the secret ending. The expanded trailer for Birth By Sleep in Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix+ gives us an exciting glimpse of the future of the Kingdom Hearts series. Keyblades for everyone!
I like "Fate of the Unknown" because it's an orchestral track fit for an intense battle, like the one the song is tied to. Often times, it seems like the video game industry prefers a rock and roll style for more intense battles. Don't get me wrong, I love a good power riff, but this song captured the excitement and melancholy tony of the scene. The climax at the end got fans more excited than anything. Terra (at the time unnamed) rips off his helmet just before his eyes turn to an evil-looking orange. It's sort of an "oh snap" moment, but I don't think it would have held much weight without "Fate of the Unknown" accompanying it. Even though I did enjoy Birth By Sleep, this secret trailer marked the beginning of the end for my faith in the series. I'm glad it ended on a high note for me, though.
I actually never owned DuckTales which explains why my brother probably never got a chance to play it (read below). I believe I rented it from a mom & pop video rental store named American Video. After a few bad purchases, my mom and step-dad came up with a rule that I stuck by for a long time when I was a child: rent first and buy if its worth the money. Now, DuckTales was definitely worth the money, but I really played the heck out of that game in the two or three days that I had my hands on it. I loved the TV show of the same name. I've loved Scrooge McDuck (an idol of my father's) for as long as I can remember. I wouldn't know this until I was much older, but to have a game built upon these great foundations by the team who brought me MegaMan would produce something that wouldn't really be outdone until Disney teamed up with my long-time idols at Squaresoft (Square Enix) to make Kingdom Hearts eleven years later.
I may have forgotten about this game over time (because I never owned it, so never revisited it) except "The Moon" keeps coming up and filling me with a sense of nostalgia. I remember when I discovered Pandora (internet radio) and created my first video game inspired station. The Advantage's version of "The Moon" came on and I was once again in awe of its greatness. I listed that track below so all can enjoy. There's something about this song that makes it just as impressive all these years later, and I'm not really surprised coming from the company that produced so many astounding "MegaMan" soundtracks.
- TOP
@TOPGamingBlog
I never played DuckTales as a child. I'm sure TOP owned it at one point, along with other early Capcom classics like MegaMan and RescueRangers. Looking back, I'm glad I never played it. It is insanely hard. Even now, when my friend and I play a ROM version of it on our Wii, we need to use save states in order to get the "secret" ending. It's pretty dismal by today's standards. I was incredibly excited when they announced the HD remix, which I'll promptly buy on PSN as soon as it's available.
Even though you are allowed to play through stages in any order, I always saved the Moon for last. It just seemed appropriate: Scrooge had conquered all the treasure on earth, why not go snag some alien booty on the moon? I can't tell you exactly why I love this song so much ... I just do. One of my favorite songs to listen to is The Advantage cover. It has a strange way of melting my worries away, akin to when Peter gets hypnotized in Office Space.
There is often friction in a relationship when a gamer and a non-gamer get together. As video games become a more common past-time across the board, I should refine this statement to include that there is also a potential for conflict between a hardcore gamer and a casual gamer. I recently mentioned a few games that got my wife gaming with me, and had a few conversations with my brother on the subject. I decided to write this article explaining some of the strategies I've employed to get my wife on board with my gaming hobby. Hopefully readers can take from it what they deem useful or applicable and turn their personal hobby into a fun (maybe romantic) past-time.
I'd like to make a brief disclaimer that is hopefully evident: I am a man and my experiences are with women. I dated women jealous of video games; ones who felt I played games more than I paid attention to them. I've dated women who played more video games than me. I've been in a wide variety of combinations of gamers and non-gamers. So this is all based on my personal trials and ordeals. I don't want to imply that women are the exclusive target of this article, and subsequently I don't want to imply that women can't love video games more than their men. I know that isn't the case in many circumstances, but again all of this is based on my own collected experiences and written for people hoping to get their reluctant partners into the wide world of gaming.
When my wife and I first started dating, I wasn't playing video games too much. It was a time of my life that I was more interested in going out with friends, drinking and attending social events. Suffice it to say that it was an odd time for me when I was focused on a part of my personality that usually lies dormant. I'm typically much more introverted. I never hid from anyone that I was a gamer and that gaming was my hobby, but it wasn't until a few months later that I started going out less and less and gaming more and more. There was a true adjustment period over the first year or so while we were getting to know each other and it hit a variety of bumps and misunderstandings as all (long-term) relationships must do, particularly in their infancy.
Some moments in gaming are worth waiting for.
I would say things started to change primarily with the North American release of Pokémon Diamond and Pearl. My wife (girlfriend at the time) was an admitted casual gamer most of her life, so I thought what a perfect way to get her back into gaming! The Pokémon franchise has a lot to offer the hardcore gamer and casual gamer alike; it has a lot to offer people who enjoy fierce creatures like Charizard and cutesy critters like Eevee. I feel there is something to like for everyone in Pokémon and if you don't like the series it's possible you don't have a soul. Little did she know at the time that if she didn't like playing Pokémon with me, it was a potential deal-breaker! Crisis averted, though. I would say my wife likes playing Pokémon more than I do these days. The Pokémon Gambit was a success.
Some of our biggest clashes came from my on-off addiction to the MMORPG, Final Fantasy XI, so when I decided that I would ultimately leave FFXI in order to play Final Fantasy XIV at its launch, I embarked on an epic quest in real life. I unofficially call the year leading up to Final Fantasy XIV as the "Get My Wife Addicted to Final Fantasy XIV" Campaign so that when I was addicted to it, we would be spending time together rather than spending time apart. When you play games together, playing games is no longer time you aren't paying attention to your partner, but time you're spending together. You're bonding while enjoying your hobby! It's brilliant, really. So here are some pointers I wish to share with you.
Relationships forged in battle!
Though results will vary based on the interests and needs of the individual, I think it's safe to assume in many cases this is going to be a long-term strategy. It's not something that will happen over night and it is something that you will have to nurture until it blooms. I've broken the process up into three phases, but individual needs will vary and the phases can overlap quite a bit based on your results and findings. So don't think of these proposed phases as set in stone, but something fluid that will be a give and take as you test the waters of your partner's interests and attitudes.
Phase 1: Know Your Audience
You must know what your partner enjoys in order to appeal to their sensibilities. If they have played games, what games did they play and of those what games did they enjoy the most? If they didn't game, explore what types of books they read or movies they watch. Video games are a form of entertainment, so figure out what entertains your partner in other sources and then start tracking down games that are similar. Do they like Comedies? Dramas? War stories? Fantasy? Romance? Do they like long, twisting and turning stories, or do they enjoy action? These are the types of things you must know or find out before you can start pitching games for them to play. There are so many types of games these days, that it shouldn't be too difficult to start matching up some games with their other interests.
Phase 2: Getting Them to Sit Down and Play
This might be the most frustrating and financially draining part of the process. Consider renting or borrowing games you think might interest your partner, because if you end up choosing incorrectly you're stuck with a game that no one wants to play. However, once you have a general idea of what types of entertainment grab your partner's fancy, start grabbing some games that re-create that experience in video game format. Possibilities here are too many to list and it's all catered to the needs of your partner. Make sure to note every success and failure. Inquire what it is that bothers them, or draws them to a game and try to find more games of that nature. Try a wide variety of game types in this stage! If your partner enjoys reading fantasy novels, you might naturally consider a fantasy RPG, but ultimately that may prove too boring. You can shift to an action RPG with more action and less story, or drop RPG all together and try to find a straightforward action game set in a fantasy world. It all depends on the individual and in this stage I can't really set forth any concrete instructions. This is the trial and error stage and you have to remain vigilant and not get too frustrated.
If you dabble in multiplayer games this is a great opportunity to mix in some of Phase 3, because often just playing together can make a game that is boring alone into something that is extremely fun, or fun to make fun of, once you start playing together.
Phase 3: Game Together
FFXIV may not have been the best game
to focus my strategy on, but we had fun!
This is the ultimate goal. Once you figure out what kind of games your partner enjoys playing, then you need to start finding common ground, or if all else fails compromise. Perhaps your partner enjoys racing games like Mario Kart, or Gran Turismo, but they aren't your thing. This is the transition phase to get them from "racing" to something like Grand Theft Auto. It has racing! Once they get used to shooting up everyone in sight, maybe come to enjoy that sort of thing (in a non-sociopath sort of way) Then you slyly transition that to Halo, or Call of Duty, or where ever you're intending to end up in this long-term campaign. It's all about transitioning and conditioning. One of the things non-gamers or casual gamers have issue with is being intimidated or frustrated with their lack of skill (or interest). So you gradually build them up to the point where they're comfortable playing your favorite games along-side you, and enjoying themselves!
Keep in mind, the ultimate goal isn't to brainwash or convert your partner into your Halo wing-man. You may find your partner will simply never like FPS, just like you don't like racing games (in this hypothetical scenario). This is where you must stick to a common interest, or perhaps on Mondays you hit the tracks of their favorite racing game and Fridays you guys shoot your way through the demon infested Phobos base. I can't tell you what will work best for your relationship, but understand that you might hit impasses that you must work around. You might find games you wouldn't naturally buy or play or enjoy by yourself suddenly become extremely fun and enjoyable - Lego Star Wars (and subsequent Lego games) were that way for me. It's a series we can always turn to for a ton of cooperative fun and laughs.
The ultimate goal is to find games that you enjoy playing together, so that you both have fun and your relationship grows stronger. You certainly don't want your partner to resent all the time you game without them, or to feel left out, or unwelcome. Trust me, gaming with your partner is so much better than gaming against them.
He wishes he could play Halo right now,
but nooo she wants to watch a romantic comedy!
Here's some General Tips to keep in mind while working your way through this process:
When you start this process I'd lean towards cooperative games rather than competitive games. It's certainly open to individual tastes, but I'd say that for relationship building (especially the initial groundwork) it will feel better to accomplish something together (beating a difficult boss with teamwork) than to constantly be trying to out-do the other. Certainly there are competitive games like Mario Party and "Mario" sports games in general that are more about "good fun" than do-or-die "must win" gaming, but I'd advise to explore more co-op unless you notice your partner takes particular ecstasy in kicking your ass at Mario Tennis (in which case you might be worried about your future together). It's certainly something you will have to figure out together.
In the same vein, don't take the games too seriously. When playing co-op nothing kills the spirit of teamwork like getting frustrated if your less experienced partner is slowing things down or holding you back. Remember that you're trying to find what's fun for them, and eventually what's fun for both of you. Remember that it's a long process and not going to be instant gratification (the basis of gaming addiction). You need to go at their pace, and cater to their learning curve. You need to offer help and guidance without being overly critical. If you do play competitively, I'm not saying let them win (yes, I am) but you don't need to bring your A-game to each match. This is all for fun, and to spend time together. No one enjoys losing all the time.
The next stop on our Pokémon adventure is the release of Pokémon Diamond and Pearl in April, 2007. This should come as a stark contrast to yesterday's post, because 2007 was an absolutely amazing year for me. I've often said to my friends and family that 26 is the ideal age to me. If I could have just stopped right there for a while, it would have been perfect. Some people say they want to go back to their high school years, but not me. Those years didn't agree with me. Others want to relive their college days, and while I admit those years were a blast, as I've covered already I was young and naive. When I was 18-20, I thought I knew everything there was to know about the world, but I couldn't have been more wrong. When I turned 26, however, I understood that I didn't know all there was to know about the world and I'll always be learning, but what I did understand most importantly was myself and where I fit into the world.
After the end of my first marriage, there was a long period of depression. I was really down on myself for all the mistakes I'd made. I felt like my entire life was made up of one failure after another. I had a hard time pulling myself out of that rut. I looked to the wrong sources, the wrong people, for support. All of that was better than living in an abusive relationship, but it was still a fairly hard time. By April, 2007, however, I had finally left my Metapod phase behind and evolved into a beautiful Butterfree.
When Pokémon Diamond was released on April 22nd, it was just in time to find its way into my beloved Nintendo DS before a very uncharacteristic vacation to California. You see, several months before April my core friends had invited me (peer pressured me) to go with them to Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, CA. It was really their scene more than it was mine, but I did want it to be mine, and I knew if I went with them I would have a blast. I stepped slightly out of my comfort zone and agreed to go. Aside from them, I didn't know who else was going, but I knew it was going to be a significant group. I was really looking forward to going up until I met a young woman.
She and I started seeing each other at the end of January (her version) or beginning of February (my version) and despite our best efforts we were quickly falling for each other. This relationship came at a time in my life when I'd lost faith in love and romance. I had given up on the idea of romantic happiness, and it was one of the liberating notions that allowed me to figure out who I was as an independent person. It allowed me to be happy and feel fulfilled without being with someone else, or measuring my worth against their happiness. So it was my greatest and best failure that year that I could not stop myself from falling in love with this person and (eventually) marrying her - but I'm getting ahead of myself. We were seeing each other quite regularly by the time April rolled around and there came a day when we had to announce we were going to be away for a while going to Coachella - wait, you too? What was happening? We had separately planned a vacation together by accident. Her story was similar to mine in that her friends had convinced her to go, and she was part of a larger group of people going that I had been otherwise unconcerned with.
Before she could play Pokémon Pearl,
I insisted she play Pokémon Leaf Green.
I am a harsh mentor.
So things started getting more and more serious between us, which left one important question unanswered. Does she play Pokémon? I had to begin grooming her to be the very best like no one ever was, if she was up for the task. Before we had started dating her feelings toward video games were luke-warm. She enjoyed them casually, but wasn't super interested in them. That was certainly better than being completely against them, or jealous of them. It was a start. Pokémon is the perfect hook to get your girls gaming with you, if you can manage it.
So hand-in-hand, armed with our trusty DS's and copies of Pokémon Diamond and Pearl, we were off on our whirlwind adventure to California - which ended up sweeping us all the way to Las Vegas. What ensued was one of the most amazing, magical and romantic weeks of my entire life. I had previously been musing to myself how romantic comedy movies really set up people to fail with unrealistic expectations. I felt that nothing in life ever remotely happened like it does in movies where two quirky people have a series of misadventures and end up falling crazy-in-love with each other. Well, this trip set me straight. It does happen, but it's rare and wonderful like getting a Shiny Bulbasaur if you reset Pokémon Fire Red over and over (1 in 8192 chances)! When times are tough in life, I just think about April 2007 and this magical trip and it helps me feel better.
Let's get back to Pokémon Diamond, though. This game was the Pokémon Renaissance of my life so far. Not since my original copy of Pokémon Red had I become so involved and absorbed in a Pokémon game. There's so much I could say about it, but I fear if I start gushing I'll go dig up my copy and start playing it again. It was my on-again/off-again game for several years. I will say that I love the Nintendo DS. It's one of my favorite video game systems ever made, so to have the first Pokémon on that system was bound to go over well with me. I was also a mentor to a bright new Pokémon trainer, my future wife, who would grow to become one of my greatest Pokémon rivals. Then there was the matter of rivalry itself.
Meet Deez
This is what a Pokémon trainer
who doesn't EV train his
Pokémon looks like!
Pokémon Diamond destroyed the previous limitations of who I could trade and battle with. Prior to 2007, all my rivals had to be within an arm's length of me. I hadn't had that kind of Pokémon playing companionship since I was in high school ten years earlier. I'm sad to admit it, but most times I would eventually buy the alternative copy of the game and just trade with myself in order to "catch 'em all." It was tough being a 20-year-old Pokémon player in those days, but all that changed in 2007! Nintendo DS was built with WiFi compatibility, so I could easily battle trainers all over the world in the comfort of my living room! More importantly, I could finally test my mettle against my ultimate rival, my younger brother.
Since the early days of Pokémon Red, I have been naming my Pokémon trainer after myself, and the rival character after my brother. Even though we were young in those days, somehow I knew his love for Pokémon mixed with our sibling rivalry would make us destined to cock-fight our Pocket Monsters until the end of time. It was in 2007, I learned he, too, had been naming his rivals after me even though we had never spoken of it before. Because I'd moved more across the continent, our Pokémon rivalry had been on hold for a decade, but now we were free once more to battle to our hearts content. It was a glorious time to be alive. I was coaching my new Pokémon pupil by day and clashing with my Pokémon rival by night.
I pulled all the punches, too. I educated myself on Pokémon IVs (Individual Values) and EVs (Effort Values). I bred about 500 Chimchar to get the ultimate Infernape. I spent hours upon hours breeding and hatching eggs to get the ideal amount of IVs. I spent another eternity of hours battling that Pokémon and his allies against the same opponent over and over to get the correct EVs. If you don't know what these things are (you're lucky!) it's because you've never gotten into the darker side of Pokémon - competitive battling. It's honestly something I consider myself quite an amateur at, but all this extra effort paid off when I defeated my brother with a well trained team.
I have about 10 boxes full of these guys if anyone wants one.
(Not a joke)
Even though Pokémon Diamond is not my favorite Pokémon game, it certainly the one that got the most love because of where I was in my life at the time. It strengthened a bond with my girlfriend which would later blossom into a marriage and family. It reunited me with my brother across 3000 miles, whom I hadn't been gaming with since the early days of Final Fantasy XI. It was really a fantastic year for me. Let me know in the comments your favorite years and ages to be!
-TOP
@TOPGamingBlog
PS: I mentioned that Pokémon is a good series to get your girlfriends interested in gaming, because it's something you can do together. It's nice because it has all the hardcore aspects you could want in competitive play, but it can also be cute and silly, which makes it a great in an intro game to people who don't play too many games. I also wanted to add the "Kingdom Hearts" series to that comment. It's funny to me, because I was really excited about Kingdom Hearts due to the Square Enix / Final Fantasy involvement, and my wife was really excited about the Disney aspect. We didn't know each other at the time it came out, but it's great that it's a series that hooked both of us in different ways. We still play them together today.
My adventures in Pokémon Ruby were short lived and dwarfed by other events in my life at the time. I mentioned in the post yesterday (Fire Starting - Gold & Silver) that I was headed into a dark time in my life around the end of 2000. I made a lot of decisions that led to unpleasant conclusions. When Pokémon Ruby hit shelves in March of 2003, things were all about to change again. The tumultuous relationship with my first wife was now two years strong, our marriage over a year old itself. Setting aside all the general insanity and violence that occurred, our wedding was on September 21st, 2001, in the shadow of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. A month later while I was at the Air Force boot camp, the home we were married at burned to the ground. I'm telling you, readers, Cthulhu had his dark tentacles in this relationship from the start.
I spent the three years between Pokémon Silver and Pokémon Ruby feeling very isolated. I moved from Massachusetts to New Mexico in May of 2001.I joined the Air Force in October and moved to California in December. I was far away from everything I knew, and through her powers of manipulation and enhanced by my own insecurities, I completely cut myself off from my friends and family. Part of that situation was pride. I chose this life for myself and I didn't want anyone to know how unhappy my decisions had made me. I didn't want to admit I had been wrong. I wanted everyone at home to think I was well, but ultimately I was alone and tormented.
Video games were no longer a hobby of mine because they had evolved into an escape from reality. I've written about this in my first article of the year, but 2001-2003 was the first time in my life when I actually understood how much one can lose themselves in video games and how much the rest of the world will just cease to exist while you do it. So I'm saying that when Pokémon Ruby arrived in stores in 2003, I had no real love or interest in playing Pokémon. My passion for video games had turned into something darker. The games were a means to an end, and a lot of that time I spent (was allowed to) playing video games was closely monitored and harshly criticized. I mentioned all of this briefly in an article I wrote before about the music of Kingdom Hearts which also came out during that time. You can find it at "A Music Chain of Memories" if you're interested.
Actual picture of how alone and tormented I was in 2003.
Also in May 2003, I was finishing my language training and leaving California. So during those last few months, I was being over-worked and over-stressed about all the final exams that were on the horizon. So work (school) was stressful. My home life was more stressful. gaming had its moments of releasing me from all that stress, but in March, 2003, they were far and few between. I didn't start playing Pokémon Ruby until closer to May. It was then that we drove from California to Texas. It was in Texas that my life was about to undergo another paradigm shift.
Married life in Texas was intense. The demands of my job were immense. The nature of the work I was doing kept me from sharing it with my wife and as a result that secret life I had at work caused her to grow even more chaotic and jealous. Violence in our home escalated. It was also no longer a thing we kept behind closed doors, but sometimes even erupted in front of other people (scaring the hell out of them, to be sure). I realized at one point in this nightmare that I was quick to resort to violence in order to defend myself, or even sometimes preemptively lash out physically before I was physically threatened. I felt like I was becoming just as violent and unstable as she. I felt unable to control my actions and emotions as well as I had before. This realization was so jarring and upsetting that I had an immediate shutdown.
I went to work and did my job. When I came home at the first hint of trouble, I would get up and lock myself in the bathroom for the rest of the night. It was there I would play Pokémon Ruby until I was ready to fall asleep. Sitting in the bathroom quietly, meditatively at times, made me realize it wasn't my fault. Nothing I was doing was cause for her kinds of abrupt outbursts of jealousy or violence. I understood that I wasn't naturally a violent or "bad" person. As my first wife raged against the bathroom door, using everything in her arsenal to get me to emerge - violence, manipulating and soothing words, all the way to promises of sex - I realized I was back in control of myself (at the very least). I would no longer participate in her madness or her violence. I was more isolated than ever before, but my descent into her world had halted. It was then that I came to some upsetting conclusions.
Upsetting Conclusion #1: I'd be stuck with this guy for 20-40 hours.
I truly believed our marriage was destined for "until death do us part." I thought the sheer notion of my desire to leave this relationship once and for all would send her into a murderous rampage and the only way I would survive was if I emerged the victor of our brutal conflict. That is not to imply I began plotting her death, but that the only logical conclusion I could foresee was an escalation of anger and violence until one of us killed the other. I have to say that as horrible as that sounded, I came to grips with it. I imagined that death, or prison, couldn't be much worse than living your life in a bathroom with a Gameboy Advance - especially with only a thin piece of wood separating me from a person who absolutely terrified me. I felt I had nothing to lose, so I prepared myself mentally. I came home from work one afternoon, made sure no knives were present for the proclamation, and said plainly that we needed to separate and that she needed to go home.
These agents of Cthulhu... I mean Kyogre... mock me!
Shockingly, no one died. Even more shockingly, she took this announcement at point blank range and calmly said "OK" as if she'd already come to similar conclusions on her own. There was no anger, no animosity that night. She asked that I go spend the night on base with one of my friends and that by the end of tomorrow's work day she would be gone. I naturally didn't trust her, or believe her. I imagined she would spend that time thinking of clever ways to manipulate me into staying, or maybe plotting my death. In truth, all that happened was I came home to an empty house the following night.
It was a mixture of joy, sadness and rage all balled up into one moment. There was joy because I was free (and alive)! There was sadness because I had failed at the one thing I left home to do. I had failed at this attempt at marriage and now I was truly alone and trapped in my contract with the Air Force. I would have to eventually admit this failure to everyone at home. Then there was the rage. When I said I came home to an empty house, I mean the house was completely empty. There wasn't a single belonging left behind except a handful of dirty dishes in the sink and the rest of my military uniforms. The fridge was empty. Within a few days the water and electricity were irritatingly shut off. I couldn't turn them on until I got paid again - and she stole my next three paychecks thanks to the Air Force blundering up my paperwork (twice). Life was interesting in Texas.
Did I mention the house was empty? That was the end of my unfinished adventure in Pokémon Ruby. It was also the end of a very dark time in my life. Losing progress in a game (in fact, losing every game I'd brought with me to Texas) was really a small price to pay to get out of that relationship. What followed was a lot of years of self-doubt and self-loathing, which lasted almost until the release of Pokémon Diamond and Pearl. Eventually I reconnected with a lot of my old friends and with my family. I was no longer alone.
Slowly, I refilled my house with important things: Pokémon Dolls
Now, Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire are my least favorite games in the entire franchise. Hoenn is my least favorite Pokémon region. Torchic/Combusken/Blaziken is my least favorite fire-type starter. I can't really remember a damn thing about the plot (not that Pokémon plots are much to write home about). I don't even like the graphics in these games compared to the others in the franchise. Due to circumstances I just described, I didn't even get around to beating the Elite Four until just before Diamond and Pearl came out. I had wanted to make sure I could upload the older Pokémon to the new generation of games, so I bought the special edition of this generation (Emerald) to play through the entire game in the early months of 2007.
I have no idea if I dislike this generation because of its own faults, or because of everything that was happening to me at the time of its release. I could go either way on the argument, because I honestly feel it is the weakest in the franchise on all the ways I mentioned above, but I also realize that I have certain jaded bias due to real life events that may influence my perception and judgment. I'll let you all be the judge - let me know in the comments if you disagree and Ruby & Sapphire are your absolute favorite games in the series!
Who are you? Where's the real Champion: Red?
And worry not, faithful readers, for things will get better in tomorrow's post when I talk about the launch of Diamond & Pearl in 2007.
This is part of an ongoing series about my favorite memories
from video games. You can find the original list and table of contents in last month's post or by clicking here. Please be aware that these posts are going to be full
of spoilers which may ruin the impact of these events on anyone who wishes
to experience them on their own in the future. I’m sorry that my schedule got
out of sync. I plan to be back on track for weeks to come, now.
I spent some time in February working on an article about
how much I can relate to Sora, the main character of Kingdom Hearts. I was not talking about any of the other games to
come out of that franchise, but the original game as I first played it when it
was released. Although I cannot speak as highly for the other members of the “Kingdom
Hearts” family, the original game remains a treasure in my game collection. I’m
tempted to replay it again this summer based on this and the previous article I’ve
written about it. It wonderfully blends the Disney movies I grew up with and
the Final Fantasy styles of story-telling with gameplay that has come to define
the “active RPG” genre. It’s a great adventure story that culminates in a very
bittersweet ending. I doted on all this back in February as you can read here.
One side of the Kingdom
Hearts story is about Sora’s struggle to reunite with his close friends,
Kairi and Riku. When Sora’s home world is enveloped in darkness, they are both
lost to him. His primary personal goal is to get them back. On the other hand, Riku
chooses to accept the darkness and comes to resent Sora over the course of the
game. He can only see Sora having fun with his new friends (Donald Duck and
Goofy) and doesn’t realize how much Sora is struggling to get back together
with him and Kairi. Riku is manipulated by Maleficent and comes to be a primary
antagonist to Sora. He shows up to taunt Sora several times about his
inefficiency at helping Kairi, who is trapped in a comatose state. Riku’s story
is the mostly untold story of a tragic anti-hero who is also trying to do the
right thing, but mostly going about it in the wrong way.
This all builds up to its boiling point at the unusual,
original world, Hollow Bastion. It’s there that Riku fills Sora with enough
self-doubt that he temporarily relinquishes control of his legendary weapon,
the Keyblade to Riku. Riku triumphantly announces he was always meant to be the
rightful wielder. This is where Sora really shows his true colors, though. The
following events are what make Sora really shine as a character as he discovers
his inner strength and steps up to face Riku. When Sora next sees him, the
Keyblade returns to him and Sora explains that his connection to his friends
(all the Disney friends he’s made as well as Riku and Kairi) is what makes him
stronger, not weak. Riku proceeds to draw him deeper into the Hollow Bastion
fortress where Kairi sleeps.
I spent a while playing Kingdom
Hearts actually thinking that Riku is making a good point – that Sora is
getting easily distracted by the Disney side of things and not focused on his
true goals of finding his friends and saving the universe. I think that’s
mostly a result of poor choices of words in the game’s script because the Sora
that shows up to Hollow Bastion is pretty intense on both accounts. Riku’s
taunting finally manages to get to him, and he loses the Keyblade, and with it
the power to fight against the darkness. Nevertheless, Sora decides he can’t
give up and he presses onward. His determination to succeed ultimately regains
him the Keyblade and reunites him with his friends on the doorstep to Kingdom
Hearts, which is a source of ultimate power sought after by the villains.
Sora means serious business.
Here is where the quest comes to its climax. The door is
incomplete without the light from Kairi’s heart which is oddly absent from her
comatose body. Riku explains her heart is locked away within Sora’s heart. Riku
now has his own Keyblade which has been forged from the power of people’s
hearts, particularly the other Disney princesses’ hearts. He claims it has the
power to unlock people’s hearts to the power of darkness and plans to use it on
Sora to get at Kairi. An intense battle ensues – for me it is the most difficult
battle in the entire game (excluding a certain optional battle). The fight
really gets me all worked up and drawn in. Riku is extremely fast and with his
newly formed Keyblade, he hits hard.
The emotional significance of this fight is how worked up it
manages to get you. Riku is not a villain and the game does not lead you to
hate him. If anything, the game makes you care about him in a way similar to
how Sora cares about him. I pity him. He is confused and needs help. He has
also sided with the villains in an attempt to do the right things, but at what
cost to himself and the worlds around him? Despite being the tragic anti-hero,
the fight that ensues, Sora’s Keyblade to protect the Light vs Riku’s Keyblade
to unleash the Darkness, is so challenging it always gets me into a frenzy. It
builds my emotional state so high because I really, really want to knock him
off his high horse, even though I do not hate him as I would a true villain. The
character of Riku is the perfect rival to test Sora’s resolve, and the player’s
skills. Despite how worked up this moment can get me, this isn’t THE moment. It’s
the precursor to the scene that follows.
Sheepish grins are now warning signs of noble sacrifices.
When Riku is defeated and gone, Sora is left with two
problems. First, he must seal Kingdom Hearts away from the villains, but the
door (and keyhole) is incomplete without Kairi’s power. Second, he’s found
Kairi, but she remains comatose. There is a brief emotional lull here as Sora,
Donald and Goofy all ponder the problem. Then it happens. With nothing more
than a sheepish grin to his closest allies, Donald and Goofy, he picks up Riku’s
discarded Keyblade and stabs it into his heart. He decides on his own that
bringing Kairi back is more important than his own preservation. Sora unlocks
his heart to darkness, which releases Kairi, and transforms Sora into one of
the mindless creatures of darkness he’s been seeking out and destroying. This
is the “Mickey Mouse” way of saying he dies and is reborn as something evil.
With a player’s emotions running high from the mostly unwanted
(but satisfying) battle against Sora’s best friend, the next scene immediately transfers
all that emotion into the most shocking moment in the game. Sora’s
self-sacrifice is the ultimate test of his loyalty to his friends, and his
faith in their ability to carry on the quest without him. I struggle to express
how much this impacts me every time I experience it. He’s just a boy! I
proclaim. How could he be this noble? If the Keyblade chooses its wielder based
on the strength and conviction of their heart, it’s clear now that it would
have always been Sora and never Riku, despite what Riku tried to have Sora
believe earlier. This single moment defines the very core of what the “Kingdom
Hearts” story is trying to tell.
This game really plucks my heartstrings in a lot of ways. It
sings to my nostalgia for the old Disney films and the beloved characters from
both Disney and “Final Fantasy.” It tells a fascinating story of one boy’s
journey against all odds to do what’s right. It is a great game with an
interesting story, but what it does best is really suck me into that one moment
where all three friends are reunited again. I truly wish all the games in the “Kingdom
Hearts” series were like this for me. They all have their strengths and are
good games, but there is something special about Kingdom Hearts and something amazing about this one moment. It’s as
if the game itself has the power to unlock my heart and fill me with an
extraordinary amount of anguish and sadness over these fictional characters. It
is a testament to what a game can make you feel, and help you discover about
yourself, when it’s done right and strikes you in just the right way.
I recently mentioned Samus Aran taking off her Chozo power suit and revealing herself to be a woman in the original Metroid was #1 on my personal list of Most Memorable Moments in video games. I decided that I'd have to actually publish a more complete list of moments. In order to do each moment justice, however, I decided I'd write an entire article about each one after kicking off with the initial list. So today is the prelude to a 10-week project and should read more or less like a table of contents for things to come. First, I need to lay down a few simple criteria/clarifications.
Point 1 - These are all games I have personally played.
As with any opinion, results may vary. I want to be clear that these are my most memorable moments which is based entirely on my own experiences playing these games at the time that I played them. There may be other scenes in other games that blow these out of the water, but I may not have played them or I may have played them at a time when the moment was ruined by prior knowledge which would lessen the impact.
Point 2 - These are all events scripted into the game.
All player-driven or randomly generated events will be excluded. I wrote an article about my campaign to defeat Ifrit in Final Fantasy XIV which was monumentally memorable, but the challenge and coordinated effort of that struggle was completely player-driven and would vary from person to person. Similarly, I've had many exciting adventures in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim that involved multiple dragons showing up to ruin my day, but as they were randomly generated I don't consider it a natural part of the game. My intent is to present scripted events that everyone will experience in roughly the same way.
Point 3 - I had no spoilers or prior knowledge to events listed.
Many of these moments would be ruined by knowing before-hand they were going to happen. So in saying that, I am warning you that the next few weeks of posts will be filled with spoilers about games I played and stuck out in my memory. Your prior knowledge of these events (if you have not yet experienced them) may tarnish the experience for you if you hope to play these games in the near future. The choice is yours, but know that when I played these games I had no idea what was going to happen next and so my opinions were heavily influenced as a result.
Now that I've set down the foundation for these opinions, I present my TOP Ten Most Memorable.
The problem with prequels coming out 10 years after the original story is that you most likely know how they are going to end. I knew Crisis Core would end with Zack Fair's final moments, but how they were going to weave this into the gameplay took me by absolute surprise. The last battle in the game manages to use the game's mechanics to convey a tremendous amount of emotion into a really excellent fighting sequence.
“Metal Gear Solid” is
a franchise that is made up of plot-twist after compounding plot-twist, but
Psycho Mantis was most memorable for using the Playstation itself to mentally unnerve
you and thwart your efforts to defeat him. His displays of psychic prowess
break the proverbial fourth wall and confront the player directly and the
challenge of defeating him required some out-of-the-box thinking and gaming.
Chrono Trigger
opens with a trip to the Millennial Fair which is celebrating the year 1000AD
as well as the Hero’s triumphant defeat of Magus 400 years ago. As soon as you
walk Crono out the front door the game is already conditioning you for the ultimate
showdown with Magus in 600AD and you don’t even know it. The game does a good
job of hyping up this fight and then it delivers in one of the best sequences
in the game topped off with one of the best tracks of battle music as well.
Sora proves without a
doubt he would do anything to reunite with his friends. After learning that his
friend Kairi will remain comatose until her heart is freed from its hiding
place locked within Sora’s own heart, he does what any selfless hero-in-training
would do – stabs himself in the heart with a Keyblade that unlocks all hearts.
He frees Kairi and allows darkness to consume his heart.
Shadow of the Colossus
is a masterpiece and every moment is memorable, but it’s easy to pick out the
first of the sixteen colossi as the poster-colossus to represent the whole
game. Though each of the colossi is a marvel in its own right, Valus sets the
tone and scope of the entire adventure by taking your breath away as you grip
your sword and run up to his enormous legs trying to find some weakness to
bring this giant down.
Final Fantasy IV
is my favorite game to play. I’ve beaten it dozens of times because I love the
story and characters. I want to note that my least favorite characters are
Palom & Porom, but for one short scene they really steal the show. Their
self-sacrifice has me tearing up every single time I live through it. Despite the
twins spending most of their time annoying me with their sibling banter, they
really show a courage and wisdom beyond their years when they step up and give
their lives to free the other characters from a devious trap.
#4 - The Master Sword (The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, Nintendo 64, 1998)
The pivotal moment
in Ocarina of Time is after you gather
the three prerequisite pendants and play the Song of Time before the sword in
the stone. Link pulls the Master Sword free in an unforgettable sequence.
When you step into the shoes of Link as an adult several years into the future, you realize you’ve only scratched the
surface of what this game has in store for you.
In an elaborate attempt to gain access to the world’s only
privately owned and operated airship, the cast of Final Fantasy VI opt to cast Celes as the lead
role in place of the opera starlet Maria, whom the airship owner is planning to kidnap. I expected to step on stage and see a few lines
of text before the scene changed, but what I got was a full
20 minute opera completely composed in 16-bit. It shattered my
perception of video game music, and remains one of the most amazing scenes in
the entire “Final Fantasy” franchise.
#2 - Aerith's Death (Final Fantasy VII, Playstation, 1997)
The villain you’ve been chasing manages to get his hands
on the Black Materia and use it cast a world ending spell known as “Meteor.” In
response, the soft-spoken, kind-hearted token damsel in distress decides to
head off on her own to seek answers and when you finally catch up to her, you
find her peacefully praying on a dais in the middle of the Forgotten City. She looks up at you with hope in her eyes,
and that’s when the villain descends from above and impales her on the end of his
sword. Does this sound upsetting? Believe me, it is. This scene is burned into
my memory.
#1 - Samus Unmasked (Metroid, Nintendo Entertainment System, 1987)
I believe Aerith’s Death (#2) may be slightly more
emotionally traumatizing and shocking, but Samus pulling off her helmet and
revealing she is a woman is my #1 because I was so young when I
experienced it and it was equally unexpected. I was so proud of myself for
beating such a difficult game, and the game itself rewarded me with knowledge
that not many kids had at the time. This moment of revelation is really what kick
started her as a video game phenomenon.
